Since my mom’s passing, from nowhere vines have fastly grown to fully overtake the two shepherd hooks outside her living-room windows, the hook holding the bird feeder and hook holding a solar-powered mobile of hummingbirds now connected to one another by the vines, which are also reaching to the windowsill and the window itself, while displaying small purplish-blue flowery trumpets which may be morning glories as they bloom for only an hour or so per day. Quietly momentous and monumental. I think all of this is the natural world trying to hold on to what was shared here by mom, because the love she had for it was absolutely a love returned.
Precursed by a pregnant praying mantis.
Long out of season is her porch offering a small bounty in color and life, green peppers and tomatoes nearing ready some eight weeks after her passing.
Houseplants as well thriving where once her attentions were focused night and day.
None of which being more portent than the kept monarch caterpillar Charlie choosing the day immediately following her burial to slip free of its chrysalis.
I don’t see how hopes and dreams might outlive our mothers. So very much truly is lived with her in mind. Disparaging and condescending is the realization, that nothing in all of life is more futile than good intentions. Only nature gets that, from us or for us. We water flowers, we do not flatter them. Vegetation ignorant of social hierarchies grows and bends in worship only ever towards light which actually strengthens it in turn. Merit and mettle accomplish everything which good intentions do not. If life beyond humanity need reconcile nothing, then through the loss of our creator do we become aware of how the reconciliations of our own lives are not for acts of creation, but for destructions both great and trivial. All that is reconciled are measures against the prolonging of life outside our own.
As a nation or as individuals, no matter how great or small the act, in response to those near to us or those far from us it is impossible to rationalize exceptions to the golden rule without also rationalizing the production of victims and scapegoats. Precepts of might making right and ends justifying the means all work for objectivists and capitalists, and not by coincidence do they as well represent the mindsets of rapists and murderers doing what defines them. You don’t even need religion to note logic in how “The last shall be first and the first shall be last” is no small statement on behalf of working against egos or trying to actually solve problems, in others and especially in ourselves. Because never in all of western civilization has humility ever picked a fight or killed anyone.
The entirety of the natural world concerns itself only with preservation and recreating itself. For our parts, we humans alone believe we’ve a choice in the matter. And for all my ego’s worth, I was only able to maintain my mom’s livelihood or well-being for so long, whereas the afterthought of her mere presence, her own residual spirituality is the stuff of literal gods.