American foreign policy has always entailed taking advantage of circumstances for private benefit. Most Americans will never be big on protestation because most Americans approach their own lives the same way, not helping anyone with anything unless something’s in it for them, preferably them being the sole beneficiary. People can talk themselves into going to work under the delusions that their vocation means more than it does, contributes more than it does, but remove the financial compensation and their fantasy of doing honest good vanishes just as quickly. Myself, I stopped filing taxes around twenty years ago because I refuse to be an accessory to murder. The place with no safeguards for keeping product recalls from stocking food banks for the poor across the country is the same place where more people have a favorite TV show than can name every state of the USA. I spent my first thirty years or so learning from every perspective I encountered, and all I walked away with was the understanding that there is a reason why it’s forever easier to find people at their worst than at their best. As life is crowdsourced hell, I’ve always known my death will be at once a compression and an elaboration of all the violence I experienced. I won’t kill myself, but I want this life over with. I don’t blame my parents for anything, I must not be a real American. Still, as I wrote about three years ago- If the collective unconscious is a thing and quantum entanglement is a thing, how are they not the same thing?
I’ve realized I only use my webmail anymore to trade links with my little sister. Anything else gets unread and deleted. My health is tanking so fast, and there are so many people I will never be able to help. This is all that’s on my mind anymore. Any other subject is merely someone’s vanity in play.
