“In your heart, you know it’s flat” went the quote representing the worldview of Flat Earthers as scandalized in the Illuminatus Trilogy, authored by Roberts Anton Wilson and Shea no Pensa. Among the consensus propagated by the dyed in the sheepish wool Flat-Earthers who proudly fess up to owning more than a passing interest, is to actually believe the world is segregated by ice, whether icy barrier-walls linking the five corners or a full-on extension of either properly right-angled or spherically-cut ice enveloping the world above and below. And with our world indeed being the little flat part hollowed from deep within the heart of this proposed universal mountain of ice and whatnot. I would imagine the issue of whether this hollowed-out negative space between us and this ice is itself angled or curved is hotly contested within the trailer park community of Flat Earthers.
While the general masses are generally amassed around notions of surprising stupidity, the Flat Earth movement never moved too far for fear of falling over the side, comparable to how the mulleted past-time of huffing gasoline never found a substantial place among the status quo of traditionally sanctioned normalcy. When the case for either rests solely on the blunt denial of an obscene array of common sense, then they can only travel so far before they trip over the weight of their own clumsy footsteps in the self-imposed dark.
A good century earlier, the Hollow Earth theory was every bit as unscientific in reconsidering the physical foundations that carry us through the stars, for its near-religious belief that our planet was not layered like the most wrathful of onions but rather a series of hollowed caves stretching all around below us, like a terrestrial, earthen Dyson Sphere concealing entire civilizations, alien compounds and the hidden machinery of the gods, etc. While for some it would amount to engaging fiction, this possibility that fracking for example is actually a clandestine war being conducted against subterranean menaces, this too is insanity. In light of this, or perhaps under its shadow, the wealthiest among you dream of sending trillions of humans out and about away from the heart of our world in search of the heart of the greater megaverse, and with a record of human existence in tow, quite similar to what I proposed ago with my madcap suggestion that the Ark of the Covenant was the final project of Google’s curations and machination, planted in the time before mankind just to give their lot, the wealthiest, an even easier time of it with such a nifty cheat-sheet presenting the deified form of insider trading.
As neither the sciences or basic human experience supports either of these theories, flattened or hollowed, shaken or stirred, it is my theory that both probably originated from fanciful dream, possibly drunken stupor. And while even the most crazy of dreams can hold kernels of the most divine wisdom, let’s not give credence that there is something to their respective proposals even in the sense of ants attempting to explain quantum semantics, but let us instead have fun at their short-comings. What if, by marrying the two ideas, we get a picture not of our world, but of the multiverse beyond and its almost infinite, familial network of pan-dimensions, alternate realities and all? What if the whole of everything, the omniverse and its many components of time and space, are located inside of a giant and ageless Dyson Sphere, with the negative space of outer space being hollowed out caverns whose walls might well be nonillions of light-years apart from one another? Our planet, and all other planets of all other galaxies, circling their chosen stars as each galaxy in turn circles those also-theorized black holes of collapsed stars long-gone supernova as the veil is invariably stretched too thin while reality tirelessly continues its outward projection from the center of this cave to end all caves where reverberation from the first bang was big enough to compel the proverbial bats to noisily flee the belfry somewhere, anywhere away from all this celestial movement transpiring inside the sphere. This Dyson Sphere would be so vast, that while not anywhere near its middle, even should our species live for another billion generations, we will never reach the boundary walls containing all of everything. We can still strive to hotbox the motherfucker of course.
And beyond that curved barrier, walls of incomprehensible size and depth iced by the coldness of space or not, the giant Dyson Sphere whose contents are all universes and all dimensions and all possibility as even a detail so minuscule as the short-lived, fallen whale of Douglas Adams has been located, outside of this sphere is god. And with our world, our universe, indeed being the little part so insignificant as to appear 2-dimensional or even 3-dimensional when contrasted by such astronomical extensions and forever expanse. All of creation chiseled from deep within the heart of this proposed universal mountain of cavernous ice and whatnot, maybe chiseled out from the form of god itself. Prior even to the biblical beginning, what exactly did the creator have to work with, but itself? If time is an eternal circle, flat or not, then why should this not as well apply to space? What if, eventually, it too is a closed loop?